Love Letters from Mr. Darcy: A Pride and Prejudice Novella Page 3

  Oh, but this felt so good! Richard, ever proud of his ability to know my mind is clueless! He remained as still as a statue, knowing from past experience that Richard would reveal all as his temper grew. It was a game they had played as children, trying to keep their feelings to themselves. Strange they were still playing it as adults. Darcy shrugged at the thought. He was far better at this game than his cousin.

  “Fitzwilliam Darcy, you need a wife who is lively and witty. A woman who would bring joy into your life and your home. Our cousin knows not the means to bring you comfort and peace. And, children? You need an heir. Could you honestly imagine the marriage bed with Anne?”

  Both men shuddered.

  Richard continued. “Well, I will not dishonour my cousin by further contemplation of such a thing, but you get my point. How could you not?”

  Darcy’s left brow lifted slightly, his smile still in place. He vowed to keep silent to allow his cousin to spill all his opinions into the open.

  “No, though Aunt Catherine’s rants are as constant as rain in England, I cannot see you giving her demands any credence. If I was in your shoes I would not either. To be saddled with a woman of no accomplishments, no social acumen, and no measure of beauty would bring a lifetime of regret. Much better for you to be attached to someone like Miss Elizabeth Bennet. Now, there is a young lady who would enliven a household.”

  Darcy forced himself not to react.

  “Darcy, each time I am in her presence I feel like the sun is brighter. Certainly, her circumstances are such that neither of us should offer for her, but I will admit that I am intrigued by her. My parents, Aunt Catherine, and you would never forgive me if I brought her home as my bride, but Darce…she has captivated me. I feel the threat and have spent the last two days trying to calculate how to make it work.”

  With each word his cousin spoke, Darcy felt his face fall. A sick feeling took root in the bottom of his stomach and started swirling into the nether regions of his chest. Richard wanted to offer for Miss Elizabeth? How could this be? His cousin was the best of men. He was responsible, sociable, and admired—the perfect husband for any young woman. Besides, he had it on good authority from her younger sisters that an officer in uniform was particularly desirable. He suddenly wanted to throw something…a punch at his formerly favourite relative.

  “Your offer to provide a small estate for my future, should I decide to leave the military, might be something I should take you up on, cousin. Having come from a small property in Hertfordshire, a similar sized house might be acceptable to Miss Elizabeth. What are your thoughts, Darcy?”

  He could not speak. Words of bitter anguish fought with the familial love of this man, gathering in his throat and choking off his air. He could not breathe.

  “Oh, do not be concerned as to what our relatives would say for we would not suffer the loss as we live in harmony with our expanding brood, growing grey-headed in happiness…it would be a passionate marriage bed…”

  “Stop!” He could take no more. Closing his eyes, he struggled to remember to inhale as he came to terms with all Richard had said. He was horrified and hurt beyond measure. Ashamedly, his first instinct was to knock his cousin senseless and run to the parsonage, kidnap Elizabeth, and carry her off to Gretna Green. He exhaled and shook his head. He loved Richard and longed for him to have felicity in his future. If it was marriage to Miss Elizabeth Bennet, then so be it.

  Darcy opened his eyes, his heart screaming at him not to speak.

  “I give you my blessing.” Five words that would change his life. He recalled the five words she had uttered in the glen the day before. Hope! Now, hopeless. He knew he should swallow, but his throat seemed too dry.

  Richard was the best of men. Why would he not want Elizabeth as his wife? It was a miracle she had not yet married, in fact. He stuck out his right hand to offer congratulations to his cousin. It was then that he looked at Richard closely and saw the twinkle in his eye. He had fallen into Richard’s trap— hook, line, and sinker. Darcy inhaled sharply when laughter burst from the man next to him.

  “I am glad for your purse that you are not a gambler, for your eyes reveal your soul, my man.” Richard slapped him on the back as Darcy wanted to swallow his tongue, or lop his cousin’s off.

  “Are you finished?” The words were thrust from his lips as he strove to regain control

  “I am not even close to being done with you.” The taste of victory sat well on Richard’s countenance. “You may have fooled society into believing you are distant and uninvolved, but I know you.”

  Darcy looked down at the ground so his cousin could not see the validation of his words in his expression. It was true. He had usually been able to hide anything from Richard, but not always. His sigh carried on the spring breeze.

  Richard placed his hand on his cousin’s shoulder. “You love her?” The words, though direct, were kindly uttered.

  Nodding his head, he looked up into sympathetic eyes.

  “Our family would never accept her. Aunt Catherine would have her banished from Kent with so much as a hint of your feelings. Society would skewer her for attempting to attach herself to a man they have chased and hunted since you inherited. Yet, you are willing to take the risk?”

  He nodded again, feeling like he had run from Marathon to Athens under the hot sun of ancient Greece. Sweat dripped from his temples and ran down his back. He could not recollect any other time in his life where the effort to hold in his emotions was as intense—not even at the death of his father.

  “You will offer for her?”

  “I already have.”

  The grin spread from one side of his cousin’s face to the other. Richard again slapped him on the shoulder.

  “Well done!” Richard beamed. “It is no wonder you are happy.”

  “She refused me.”

  “What?” Rarely was Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam rendered speechless, so this was an atypical occasion. From the way he grabbed at his chest, Darcy worried it was too much of a shock.

  “While Mr. and Mrs. Collins and Miss Lucas were at Rosings, I walked to the parsonage and offered my hand to Miss Elizabeth. As it ended up, my well-thought-out and practised proposal was offensive to her. She replied by attacking my character, my attitude, and my behaviour since the first time we were in company together. Deservedly so. It was not my finest moment.”

  Now it was Richard who was shaking his head, confusion evident in the drop of his shoulders and the fact that his hands fell to his side.

  “You are the most honourable man of my acquaintance, Darcy. How can this be?”

  “Let us walk further away so we are not caught standing here.” Darcy took the first path to the east. He waited until Richard caught up to him before he spoke. The day was equally as lovely as the day prior, yet the joy of the morning was gone. Disclosing his actions to a man he respected was crushing. Apparently humble pie was to be his meal of choice in Kent.

  “I met Miss Elizabeth and her family when I travelled to Hertfordshire with Bingley. The day we arrived was the same day I had received a letter from Georgiana. With the few words she shared, I could feel her despondency, and I was wearing my failure as both a brother and guardian on my sleeves. To say I was not good company would be understating matters. I should not have attended the assembly that night. I was not at my best.” He closed his eyes in frustration with himself.

  “When we arrived, Bingley immediately gravitated to Miss Elizabeth’s eldest sister, Jane. She is a classically beautiful woman who projects a calm, unruffled exterior. To Bingley, she was an angel. To me, she appeared shallow and easily influenced by her fortune-hunting mother.”

  Richard interrupted. “Well, cousin, you should easily recognize a woman of that ilk as you have spent the last six years running from them.”

  “Though I easily read the character of the mother, I was completely blind to the feelings the young woman had towards Bingley.”

  “Oh, no! Pray, do not tell me she is the
young woman you warned Bingley against.” The colonel was horrified.

  “She was.”

  Richard groaned and put his hand to his stomach. “What have you done?”

  Darcy was surprised at the bitterness of his tone.

  Richard admitted. “Two days ago, the morning you made your proposal, I had met Miss Elizabeth walking in the glen. I had hoped she had a good opinion of you and thought to help you along. So I shared with her your comments about saving Bingley from a disadvantageous marriage as the woman was wanting in some way. I know you to be diligent in acting in the service of a friend and felt it would increase your value in her eyes if she knew so as well.”

  “I thank you for your help.” Sarcasm dripped from Darcy’s tongue. “Of her four sisters, Miss Elizabeth is closest to Miss Bennet. She is highly protective of her. The adolescent girls are unrestrained and the youngest is quite vulgar, yet Miss Elizabeth strives to check their behaviour as the parents do nothing. Any slight, no matter how small, would be taken as an insult to her personally. Thus, when she questioned my motives in encouraging Bingley to depart Netherfield Park, she was on the offensive. I had not thought to wonder where she had obtained her information.”

  “I offer my apologies.”

  Darcy could hear the sincerity in his voice.

  “Accepted.” They only took two more steps when he continued his accounting. “Nevertheless, be not concerned that this error was the cause of her rejection. At the assembly, Bingley kept pleading with me to dance, and I, within her hearing, proclaimed Miss Elizabeth as only tolerable and not handsome enough to tempt me.”

  Both men stopped on the path. Darcy looked away, but could feel his cousin’s eyes glaring at him. It was only fitting, as he wished he could glare at himself for such a sin.

  “Yes, I know.” He kicked at a clump of grass. “My conduct was ungentlemanly and I lied. She was and is more than handsome enough to tempt me.”

  “I do not know what to say.” The colonel lifted his arms from his sides and dropped them. “This is so unlike you.”

  “No, Richard. This attitude is very much like me. Nonetheless, it is a flaw I intend to overcome. A woman of Miss Elizabeth’s caliber is not impressed by arrogance, unfounded pride, and disdain for those not in our society. She was not only angered by my words, she was ashamed of my conduct—something I now realise I will need to correct before I ever become an object of her esteem.”

  Richard seemed incredulous. “You have reason for hope?”

  “I do.”

  Again, they started walking. The path widened, and the span between the two men grew until Darcy wondered if his cousin wanted to distance himself from him. He had more than one relationship to repair.

  “Richard, Elizabeth Bennet is a wonder. Rather than place blame solely on me, as she should have done, she found that her own response was not without flaw. We have agreed to begin again with a friendship.”

  “A friendship?” Darcy heard the doubt in Richard’s voice.

  “Yes. For a certainty, I long for much more. I want her for my wife. No other will be the next mistress of Pemberley.”

  “Hmmm!” Richard put his hand to his chin as he walked. “Is that all?”

  “All?” Darcy hated to lose the respect of this man. “No. Wickham was in Hertfordshire and shared his version of the tale of his misfortunes at my hand with the village. He was branded the gallant hero, while I was the villain.”

  “Surely, you explained that the blackguard was not to be trusted.”

  “I did not.” At his cousin’s questioning stare, he continued. “I wanted there to be no reason for him to mention Georgiana. That small community is a haven of gossip with a bevy of matrons who would delight in the fall of an innocent like my sister. I could not take the chance.”

  “So the young ladies are left vulnerable to the rake?”

  “Miss Elizabeth will write to her father with enough information to urge caution. I shall send a note to him as well. Wickham has joined the militia and is stationed in Hertfordshire, so a letter from you to Colonel Forster would not be remiss. It would take little effort for his superior officer to realise one of his lieutenants is undoubtedly already in debt to the local merchants and possibly worse.”

  “This I will do as soon as we return to Rosings.” Richard pondered a moment. “Propriety does not allow you to write to an unmarried woman you are not betrothed to and it is a shame. The whole of the time I was on the continent, I relished receiving any missive that was not a change or orders or assignment. I particularly enjoyed those from you and Georgiana. Your ability to describe even mundane activities transported me back to English soil, and I felt at home again. If you could describe your feelings and share your goal of becoming a man worthy of her by letter, I believe you might find yourself well on your way to becoming an object of affection in Miss Elizabeth’s heart. However, it is not to be.”

  Darcy refused to respond. It would not do to have his cousin aware that he had already written to her.

  “Then I believe we need to return to Rosings so I can correspond with the colonel rather than visit our neighbours. Possibly after tea we can try again?”

  “Your plan is sound.” Darcy, too, wanted to hurry back to Rosings. Certainly he would write to Mr. Bennet, but he would also put the emotions of his heart on parchment for Miss Elizabeth. Offering to send her note to her father with his via express, might possibly give him the opportunity to deliver letter number two into her safekeeping. Would she read it? Or, would she place it with the other so she had two letters unread? He smiled, unconcerned if his cousin spied him doing so. Without encouraging the other to do so, both men turned and hurried back to Rosings.

  “Mr. Darcy. Colonel Fitzwilliam. Welcome to Hunsford.” Mr. William Collins, parson to Lady Catherine, was blatantly overjoyed to welcome these guests to his home. He bowed so deeply he lost his balance and had to catch himself on the arm of the chair his wife was seated in before he landed in her lap.

  Mrs. Charlotte Collins rose and, stepping around him, stood and curtseyed as did her younger sister, Maria, and her closest friend, Elizabeth Bennet.

  “Yes, do come and join us for tea, gentlemen.” Charlotte Collins caught Mr. Darcy’s eye after they had settled on Elizabeth and bounced back to her at the greeting. Her brow rose as she tilted her head to one side.

  Darcy suspected their hostess was far more intelligent than her husband and knew he would need to be wary of her. Mrs. Collins was a life-long friend of Miss Elizabeth, and he imagined they were in each other’s confidence. How much had Miss Elizabeth shared?

  Nerves threatened to shatter his composure, so rather than taking a seat as his cousin had done, he walked to the fireplace and stood in front of the stone. He longed to take up his normal post in front of the small window with his back to the room. The pose was his defence against meddling mothers and clinging daughters and served to distance him from company in which he was uncomfortable. This was not to be borne. There was nothing threatening in the house. Well, except for Miss Elizabeth Bennet. Few had the power to affect his composure quite like she did.

  Within seconds, Colonel Fitzwilliam was entertaining the room with stories of his service to the throne. A quick survey of the parlour showed that Mr. Collins and Miss Lucas were soaking in each word. Mrs. Collins appeared to be following the recitation, although her eyes moved his way on occasion. Miss Elizabeth did not pretend to look elsewhere. Her gaze was on him and, once he realised where her eyes chose to rest, he was lost to the rest of the gathering.

  “Mr. Darcy.” She stood and walked to him, the room suddenly silent as she did so.

  What was she about? Was she going to refuse him as she had done in this very room only two nights before? He felt perspiration on his palms and wanted to wipe them on the sides of his trouser legs. Finally, after what seemed like an hour, or a half a day, he responded.

  “Miss Elizabeth, might I be of assistance?”

  “I thank you for your offe
r as yes, it is your help I seek.” She turned to her friend to satisfy her curiosity as she pulled a letter from her pocket. “Charlotte, I happened upon Mr. Darcy yesterday in the glen and we spoke of a situation at Longbourn where the gentleman’s experience in estate management— in particular, that of removing unwanted pests— would be of immediate benefit. Last night, I endeavoured to pen the information to my father and fear I may not have the details entirely correct.”

  “Oh, no! Cousin Elizabeth, it should have been Lady Catherine you should have petitioned for there is not another more knowledgeable soul in all of England when it comes to making decisions as to the proper running of a property. I do surmise, cousin, that had your father accepted willingly the recommendations I passed on from my benefactress, the estate to which I am entitled to inherit would be in a far better financial condition than it is currently and it certainly would not be overrun with rodents.”

  “Mr. Collins!” Charlotte implored him to remember his manners and stopped him from speaking further.

  Elizabeth’s face reflected horror and embarrassment at his crass sharing of such personal information.

  Miss Maria Lucas had her chin to her chest as she worried her skirt fabric between her fisted hands, and Colonel Fitzwilliam looked on the scene with seeming pleasure. Then he stared directly at the parson.

  “Is that right, Mr. Collins? You believe Aunt Catherine to be an advisor to Darcy who is in possession of an estate more than twice the size of Rosings Park?” He paused, acting confused. “Why do you think it is that Darcy is required to come twice a year to survey the property and balance her account books? If it was as you claim, would it not be my aunt who would be doing such to Pemberley instead?”

  “But..but…” Mr. Collins sputtered.

  “To ease your mind, sir, might I recommend that Darcy read Miss Elizabeth’s letter. Should he have any concerns that he could not supply the exact information needed for Mr. Bennet, he could take up the matter with our aunt.”