A Father's Sins: A Pride and Prejudice Variation Read online

  CHAPTER THREE

  Netherfield Park, Hertfordshire

  Downstairs, the table at the breakfast room had an available seat between Miss Darcy and Mr. Hurst. It was Elizabeth’s first opportunity to meet the gentleman married to Mrs. Hurst. He was so intent on breaking his fast that he did not look up from his plate when she sat down at his side. Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley both stood at her entrance. Elizabeth hoped the Darcys and Mr. Bingley would participate in conversation, as Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst had not acknowledged her presence at the table.

  “Miss Elizabeth, how is your sister this morning?” Mr. Bingley was all concern. He leaned forward in her direction, as if he was afraid to miss a word. Elizabeth’s esteem rose for this gentle man.

  “I am pleased to say that she is much improved. Her fever is gone and she is resting easily.” The comments from Mr. Bingley’s sisters were perfunctory at best. Mr. and Miss Darcy both expressed their sincere pleasure at the news. Mr. Bingley appeared to bounce in his seat at the good news from upstairs. “It may be a day or so before she is well enough to return to Longbourn. I do hope you do not mind if we trespass on your hospitality a bit longer?”

  “Not at all,” Mr. Bingley immediately supplied. “She is welcome to stay and be ill as long as she would like.”

  Elizabeth lowered her eyes to her lap to hide the small grin at Mr. Bingley’s proclamation. “He truly does love her,” she thought. She looked over to see the same small smile on Miss Darcy’s face. “Ah, she is another kindred soul.”

  After the meal ended, Elizabeth excused herself to go upstairs to check on her sister. Elizabeth released Sarah from her vigil so she and Jane could visit in private. There was much to be said, explained, and understood. Jane, too, was anxious to know about Elizabeth.

  “Lizzy,” Jane hesitantly started the conversation. “Why were you gone so long?”

  Elizabeth looked at her, puzzled. “I don’t understand what you are asking, Jane. You know why. You were there and heard Father. Did you think I would be welcome at Longbourn?”

  Jane looked down at her hands twisting on her lap. “I thought….. I thought that you would have apologized to Papa long ago and we could have been together all these years. I guess that I do not understand why you never did.” Jane would not look up, so she failed to see the incredulous look on her sister’s face.

  “Jane! Me apologize?” It was almost hard for Elizabeth to take a breath, she was so stunned by this unexpected turn. “Whatever did I have to apologize for, Jane?” She did not mean for her voice to sound so severe, but it was hard to grasp this thinking. She looked again at her sister and wondered if she really knew her anymore.

  “Lizzy, you do not know what it was like after you left.” Jane paused to gather her thoughts. Finally, she looked up at her sister. “Longbourn was so empty and quiet. Mama stayed in bed for many months after you left and Papa buried himself in his library. Hill and Mrs. Hill cared for the house and tenants as best as they could without proper direction. It has been a very trying time.” She paused again while Elizabeth waited in stunned silence. “Charlotte whispered to me that you have been traveling the world, one exciting adventure after another. I do love you and am happy to see you, but your life seemed to have been all about what brought you pleasure. Did you just decide to forget about us when you left? We needed you at home, Lizzy.”

  Elizabeth was exceedingly surprised at the force of Jane’s last statement. Before she replied, she gave serious thought to not only the things Jane had said, but also the way they were said. Twice she said, “after you left,” as if the leaving had been voluntary on her part. It certainly had not been her choice! She grieved the loss of her siblings deeply and berated herself for a long time that she had not known more about how to treat smallpox. The things she had learned, especially while in India, indicated that there truly was not more that could have been done. She had tried. She had tried her best and done all she could to help them. She and Mrs. Hill struggled through those fourteen days of agony only to have the ending so bleak. Apologize? Apologize to her father for what? For not insisting that they be vaccinated? She had insisted and he had chosen not to listen. For not nursing them to her fullest? She had given all there was to give of herself. Why? Why would Jane think the error was hers? Shaking her head back and forth, she struggled to understand.

  “Jane,” Elizabeth pinned her sister with a look. “Please, remember that it was not my choice to leave Longbourn. I was disowned and cast off by a father who claimed that he loved me. I have nothing to apologize for. If you concluded from hearing of my travels from Charlotte that my life was filled with gaiety and joy, you would be most incorrect. I used those travels as opportunity to study treatments and to learn better methods of care for those who are ill. I learned to mix the formula for the tonic that reduces fever and possible infection and other formulas for the reduction of pain. Yes, I did visit many places and saw many things that I had only ever read about, but I also cared for my cousins and kept myself under good regulation at all times so that I brought no reason for Aunt and Uncle to cast me off as well.” She walked closer to the bed. “Jane, my life has been filled with uncertainty for the past five years. I suffer constantly the loss of Mary, Kitty, Lydia and young Tom. It was five ago yesterday, November 11th, that I received a blow from which I will never recover. How can you suggest that I owe an apology?”

  Elizabeth turned and paced back and forth from the door to the bed. She had never spoken so harshly to her eldest sister. She was appalled at herself for doing so and appalled at Jane for needing to be spoken to that way. Turning back to the bed, she was surprised to see that her tender Jane had no tears. “Jane, the only words I have received from Father since I left was a summons that was delivered only yesterday. There was no softening on his part, only a demand that I return to marry his cousin, a Mr. Collins, so that I again can make life easier for him. He said that I owe it to him to marry. Why? Why, Jane? Why would he want me to marry this man? Why not you? Why would he think that I would owe him? Do you know?”

  Jane did not speak right away. This was a different Elizabeth from the one she knew. The Elizabeth of old would have happily followed her father into fire, if needed. She had been the one to care for the day-to-day decisions of the household and to see to the needs of the tenants. Even at only five and ten years, Elizabeth accepted that no task was too unimportant for the well-being of the family and Longbourn. She had loved Longbourn so much that she would have done anything for its maintenance and growth. “Lizzy, you are tired from your journey yesterday. I’m sure that when you meet Mr. Collins and think upon the fact that one day you will be the Mistress of Longbourn, that you will find great joy in the arrangement. It is what Father trained you to be, which is why he never educated me for that purpose. You love Longbourn. It is your home, your place. With you there, our situation can return to what it was.”

  Elizabeth stared at her in wonder. “Does she truly believe that?” Shaking her head, she turned and walked to the window. A heavy fog sat over the grounds and there was little to delight or distract her in the view. She had never realized, until this very moment, how alike Jane and her father were. Both just wanted peace and neither wanted responsibility. The thought made her feel beyond her years, as if a giant millstone settled on her slight shoulders. “Jane,” she turned back to her sister. “Rest now and we will speak of this no more.”

  The relief Jane felt was evident in her expression. After thanking Elizabeth, she closed her eyes and soon slept. When Elizabeth heard her steady breathing, she crept out of the room, longing to be left alone to meditate on the things she had learned. It was not to be.

  It was almost as if Miss Bingley had been hovering at the door, eavesdropping. She straightened as Elizabeth exited. What she hoped to gain by her efforts to listen in on a private conversation was a perplexity to Elizabeth. “Excuse me; may I be of some assistance to you, Miss Bingley?” The question went unanswered as Miss Bingley spun on her heels
and headed down the hall to the main floor below. “How curious,” Elizabeth thought, heading to her room.

  It wasn’t until later, after checking on her sister, when Elizabeth entered the drawing room before dinner, that she discerned Miss Bingley’s motives. Mrs. Nicholls had been correct. Miss Bingley had her arm through Mr. Darcy’s and was holding on as if an unseen force threatened to pull her away. When Mr. Darcy noticed Elizabeth’s entrance, he carefully extracted Miss Bingley’s hand from his arm and walked to greet Elizabeth. It was then that the truth was known. Miss Bingley glared daggers at Elizabeth. Hatred poured off of her in waves.

  Mr. Darcy was unaware of the animosity as he greeted Elizabeth with a bow. “Miss Elizabeth, how pleased we are to see you this evening. I hope your sister is improving in health?”

  Elizabeth looked up at him with a smile. “Thank you, Mr. Darcy. She is much improved. The rest has benefitted her greatly.”

  Before they could walk across the room to stand with Miss Darcy, Mr. Bingley inquired if Miss Bennet was truly improved. His concern was genuine and warmed Elizabeth’s heart. Nonetheless, the thought briefly occurred to her that Jane’s affections may not be as engaged as Mr. Bingley’s. Again, she wondered why Jane was not betrothed to the unknown Mr. Collins. Possibly it was that her mother’s purpose was to have Jane attached to Mr. Bingley with his large home and fortune. Her sending Jane to Netherfield Park on horseback in the rain appeared to support this conclusion. Emotions were swirling like whirlwinds at Netherfield Park and Elizabeth was weary.

  Of one thing Elizabeth was certain, if she had noticed the change the last five years had brought in Jane and Jane herself noticed the change in Elizabeth, she also noticed the change in Mr. Darcy. Gone was the carefree young man she conversed with in London all those years ago. He, too, seemed to be bearing a weighty burden on his shoulders. His sister, probably no more than five and ten years of age, also appeared to have a great reticence about her. She looked like she needed a friend and Elizabeth determined to be that very person.

  Just as they reached Miss Darcy, Mr. Burton, the elderly butler, stepped into the drawing room and announced to Miss Bingley that dinner was served. Before Miss Bingley reached Darcy’s side, the gentleman offered an arm to Elizabeth and to his sister. Mr. Bingley escorted his sister and Mr. Hurst, who had been dozing on a settee in front of the fireplace, escorted his wife. In the dining room, Mr. Darcy seated his sister on his right and Elizabeth to his left. This guaranteed pleasant dinner conversation. He was looking forward to improving his acquaintance with Miss Elizabeth.

  The discussion between the three, Elizabeth and the Darcy siblings, centered on the places Elizabeth visited in her travels and the books the three of them had read and were currently reading. Elizabeth mentioned to Mr. Darcy that she had brought with her to Netherfield Park the volumes she had purchased at Hatchards all those years ago. She hoped to read them to Jane as she continued to improve in health. It was a pleasant few hours of light-hearted discussion.

  After dinner concluded, Elizabeth returned upstairs to see to the progress of her sister. Miss Darcy accompanied Elizabeth, both to provide company and to avoid the fawning from Miss Bingley. Elizabeth had asked if she wanted to extend her greetings to Jane and Miss Darcy was pleased to do so. Yet, when Elizabeth opened the door, they found Jane sleeping soundly. Miss Darcy then invited Elizabeth to her private sitting room to get to know each other better and Elizabeth was pleased to accept.

  It wasn’t long after they settled on two over-stuffed chairs that were moved close together in front of the fireplace that Miss Darcy asked Elizabeth to use Christian names. Groundwork was being laid for a solid friendship. Then, strangely enough, there was silence as if Georgiana did not know where to start the conversation. Elizabeth could sense that something troubled her new friend, so she offered, “Georgiana, you appear to be unsettled. Might it be that it could be a relief to share with a friend your concerns? Please believe me that you may tell me anything with impunity. I am here to listen to whatever you feel the need to express.”

  At first, she thought that Georgiana would hold onto her troubles, but then she started to talk.

  “In July of this year, my brother removed me from school and set up house for me along with my new companion, Mrs. Younge, at the seashore. It was the first time I had been on my own and William trusted I would be able to enjoy my time by the sea. I had been ill and the family surgeon believed that the salty air would be of benefit to my lungs.” She paused in her narration, looking at her tightly gripped hands in her lap. “It wasn’t long before we were joined in Ramsgate by my oldest brother, Mr. George Wickham.” Georgiana’s face became red, her breathing became shallow, and she looked like she was going to cry. “George was my father’s favorite. When I was much younger, he would spend time playing with me and was so much fun.” She paused at the pleasant memories. A small smile played at her lips. Elizabeth waited patiently.

  “I guess…. I guess I should go back to the beginning.” Georgiana continued. “Before my father and mother married, my father lived the life of most gentlemen of the ton. He fell in love with a woman who was unsuitable as the Mistress of Pemberley. They had a child together and the woman died in childbirth. Grandfather Darcy was angry with my father for his indiscretion. The child was taken to our steward, Mr. Wickham, whose wife had been unable to have a child. They were so happy to have George to care for and my father was very pleased to have him close. About that time, my other grandfather, the Earl of Smithton, arranged a marriage between my parents. In the marriage settlement, it was agreed that the firstborn son from that marriage would be the heir of Pemberley and all other Darcy estates and assets. The Darcys needed my mother’s dowry and wanted the position of having the daughter of an Earl in the family, so readily agreed to that arrangement. For many years, George remained apart from Pemberley. Oh, I understand that my father was delighted with his firstborn and spent much time with the Wickhams and with George. When my mother died at my birth, that situation changed. George was then four and ten and William was two years younger. I grew up with the attention of both brothers, as by then, George was firmly established at Pemberley. They both attended school together and both would spoil me when they came home during holidays. I dearly loved both of my brothers. For all that, the older they got, the more I began to notice tension between them. Or, maybe,” she pondered, “the older I got I was able to notice the difficulties between them. George was cruel to William, but only when my Father was not aware. I never was witness to William retaliating.”

  Again, she hesitated as if not knowing where to go at this point. “William has always been studious, responsible, and kind. George liked to go from one adventure to another. One time, I was going to my Father’s study to talk to him when I overheard George asking for money to cover some gambling debts. My Father gave him the money willingly. I do know that I should not have listened, but the conversation was complete before I could retreat from the room. William would never gamble. Then, when I was nine years old, my maid, who was a pretty girl, was sent away because there was some trouble with George. I did not know the reason until much, much later.” She was crying now. “Mrs. Reynolds, our housekeeper, told the mother of my maid that George had forced her.” I handed her my handkerchief, which she twisted and twisted in agitation. “Elizabeth, I know that it was improper for me to listen to the conversation between my father and George, and between Mrs. Reynolds and my maid’s mother, however, I later deeply appreciated this information.”

  “From that time on, William took care to keep me away from George. I did not understand because I was so young and I was angry with William for a long period of time. When I was ten years of age, my Father died unexpectedly. In fact, it was five years yesterday since it happened.”

  Elizabeth was stunned. Five years on November 11th was the same date of the death of her dearest siblings; certainly a day of great loss for both families. Georgiana’s words cut into her thoughts.

&nb
sp; “After Ramsgate, I clearly saw the bad in my older brother.” Now the tears streamed down her cheeks into her lap. “Apparently George owed a large amount of money to some unsavory men. My older brother knew that my father had settled a large dowry of 30,000 pounds upon me when I marry. George arranged, with help from my companion Mrs. Younge, for me to be in a compromising situation with the evil man he owed. The plan was that we would be forced to marry and William would have to sign over my dowry as a settlement of that debt. They also planned that in marriage, they would be able to access additional funds from William for my continued care.” Georgiana stopped speaking and looked me directly in the eye. “William came to Ramsgate unexpectedly and was able to discern the plot and stop the events from happening. There was a terrible argument whereupon Mrs. Younge left my employment and George was chased away by William. What has happened to either of them, I am unaware. I have not seen George since Ramsgate.”

  “Oh, Georgiana, dear,” Elizabeth reached over and held her hand. “I am so very sorry that this happened to you. You were so young and knew not to doubt your older brother’s sincerity. Surely, you can see that you have no blame?”

  “That’s what William has said, but, I see the burden he carries and I feel I have only added to it unnecessarily. If only… if only I had been wiser.” She looked up at Elizabeth, pleading in her eyes.